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Thursday, June 10, 2010

SO WHAT IS LOVE?

Do you know that the best time to know yourself is when you're in LOVE?

You discover feelings you never knew you had. The heights of jealousy, passion, anger and affection. Its up to you to be a master or slave to them.

Committing into a relationship entails a lot of hard work to keep it because LOVE is an act of the will,
to live for another, to give oneself to meet the needs of another. Opening your heart means making room
for love, patience, understanding and sacrifice.

Loving a person is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it likely to remain
intact but hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost. You never lose by loving.
You always lose by holding back.

Is it love?.... Probably NOT if...

Assumes the other person will change to please you. Causes feelings of insecurity or jealousy,
Appeared "love at first". Is easily forgotten when the other person is not around. Makes you feel "stressed out" when you're together.
Consumes your life, selfish,
seems to have peaked and is diminishing.
Limits other friendships.
Is based on partner's appearance,
Is based on feelings of possessiveness,
Has sexual gratification as its main goal.
Pressures you to do things you don't want to and blinds you to your partner's faults.

Maybe its LOVE.... if..

Accepts the other person as he or she is
Builds trust.
Started out as friendship
Lasts even when distance separates you.
Makes you feel relaxed and at ease with each other.
Allows you to do things without your partner
Makes you place your partner's needs before your own.
Gets stronger as time goes on. Allows you to have friends of both genders.
Considers appearance as only part of the attraction.
Recognizes the other person's individuality.
Is rewarding without a sexual component.
Allows you to reflect things that make you uncomfortable.
Accepts your partner's fault.

So... what is love??

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that love is a feeling. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling itself, can be recaptured.

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